People that got arrested that night are by now out of jail and back to screwing up their lives and pointing fingers at others. People who made resolutions are officially done sticking to them.
Here’s the thing, people start screaming about how horrible or wonderful a year was and they think that changing 1 number from 2015 to 2016 and so on will be something completely new. It’s the same thing people and for the first 2 months I forget and sign everything wrong anyway. The only upside is that we can classify things, such as, these are the things that rocked my socks, tickled my belly and made me happy or angry that happened within a calendar year.
HETAST JUST NU
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This isn’t a list in the, this is better than that or something. It’s just a number next to the part I am ranting about because it helps me stay organized. Please feel free to tell me what I am missing or what tickled your pickle in 2015.
The Fight Of The Century
The mega fight of all mega fights that people waited years for and how it went down. If you actually google “Fight of the Century” this is what pops up. People think I am talking about ol’ punch to the face McGregor and ol’ make Derek look stupid Aldo, but I’m not. I’m talking about a fight that put everyone’s numbers to shame and was hyped for around a decade. Floyd Mayweather vs Manny Pacquiao.
Good lord would I have squirmed in that uncomfortable folding chair. Guys paid $15,000 to sit close to the ring in their shiny suits and repeatedly answer their nicely dressed $58 martini drinking mistress’s question of “But… who’s winning.” And he should have told her. “Not me. Not us. None of us.”
That was THE Mega fight of the century between two of the best boxers in history and it was so bad that it ruined their career’s. Floyd Mayweather never lost a professional fight. Whether you hate him or have a TMT T-Shirt on right now with your little fancy cocked sideways hat you have to respect people that are good at their jobs.
But after that fight and then the last fight of his career against what’s his shoes from somewhere tropical that they had to get footage from 2003 to help hype the fight. Floyd’s goodbye fight had the same amount of people in attendance as most of us have facebook friends that we actually have the phone number and email address for.
That Floyd/Manny fight was so bad that people sued. People were so let down and angry at what they just paid for that there is actually a class action lawsuit right now against Pacman demanding they get their money back because he didn’t disclose his shoulder injury. Can you imagine that?
I’ve gone to restaurant and eaten half raw chicken; I didn’t get my money back for that. I got a napkin to wipe the vomit from my shirt and a new piece that was cooked better that I gave away. But the most talked about fight from the biggest fighters essentially ruined their career more so than if we found out they were doing gay porn and spreading HIV to the last remaining white rhino on earth.
Thirteen seconds.
People can love or hate Senõr Conor McGregor but all the fighters who said he is a flash in the pan and would never beat this guy or that guy or whatever else. He did. I write that and the entire time think, I’m one of those people that say he will never and yet he has time and again made me look like a jerk. I figured he’d beat Dennis Siver, I thought Chad Mendes would have done better with more training but I didn’t think he would beat Aldo, yet 13 seconds later all the hype and money and whatever else just went away.
It’s an odd conclusion because we hear people say I’ll knock you out in the first minute and everyone agrees and nods and we wait and we talk about it and then when it actually happens we stand around and think. Now what? Can they scrap that guy off the canvas give him a few minutes and start again?
I mean, it wasn’t luck, I don’t believe in luck in fist fights, it’s not like the lights fell from the ceiling and knocked him out or a little angry raccoon or something bit one of them on the way to the cage and they had to get a rabies shot. None of that happened. McGregor seen an opening and he threw his knuckle biscuit down the turnpike and Aldo ate the biscuit and decided he’d suddenly like to lay down and have two servings of butter with that biscuit.
McGregor gave him two more how’s your father’s on the ground and the fight was over. It literally took me longer to type that sentence than the fight lasted. The difference is probably fifty million dollars were dumped into that fight and I am doing this out of the goodness of my heart hoping someone out there gets a laugh or agrees.
Had Aldo been Kimbo Slice and the UFC the Elite XC they probably would have said…. He slipped, give him a minute a bottle of water and let’s start over. But the UFC generally offers a square deal and if you were Irish you went nuts and if you were Brazilian you went, ahhhhh and if you were someone who paid to see it you said… Well… Maia looked good didn’t he. Shame about that McGregor fight. Hate it when the walk out’s last longer than the fights. Happens.
Shattered images
Of course I can say this, as a know it all who sat and talked with his own coaches about how someone beats Ronda Rousey. Everyone also knew how to beat and Floyd and McGregor and Stalin and Djingis Khan and so on. In hindsight we all know exactly how to beat whoever but once you are standing across from that person and they can reach out and touch you it’s the same as Mike Tyson always said. “Everyone has a game plan until they get punched in the face.” That holds very true.
Sitting here right now and I’m sure where ever you are think that we/you could beat up every single person that fought on the first twelve UFC’s. But in reality, maybe some of us could take Emmanuel Yarborough or Harold Howard because he had a mullet and fought in a wife beater, but still, probably not. I didn’t know this until she was laying sideways on the ground, that there are some people who generally hate Rousey in a way reserved only for cheating wives/husbands, arsonist and pedophiles.
Reading message boards after that fight I had no idea where these people came from or where they live but good lord some people spent the better part of an 8 hour day just going on and on replying to every single person’s comments about how happy they are she lost, making personal insults and all sorts of mularky (that word doesn’t translate, it’s essentially bull sh*t). And then his coaching staff (justifiably because he is a very unlikable guy) came under fire and Rousey has essentially disappeared. Completely. Whether it’s because she now “can’t eat an apple” as she has said and has a wired shut jaw like a teenage girl she vanished for a solid month.
Part of me believes she will never come back again. She was already talking about retirement, she currently has her hands in a lot of cookie jars and similar to Gina Carano will quickly learn that throwing fake punches is way better for you in the long run than throwing real ones. And god bless her for it. As much as people love to compete and I don’t blame them, when a new career is calling and that career gives you in one or two months what you use to make in five to ten years it’s awfully hard to say no.
Right now people say, I’d never do that, not even for a million dollars! Listen, if some guy smalled a duffle bag in on the ground with a cool million you would drink a pint of donkey jizz just as fast as the next guy. Speaking of, I met Holly Holm in San Diego while she was on the operation “sweep Jon Jones under the rug” before she fought Marion Reneau and like always I thought, she is tough but no where near the level of Miesha Tate or Rousey and so on, maybe some day, just seems like she goes where she isn’t that good and slowly, very slowly beats people.
But with using angles, circling out and a bunch of destroying lefts one of which was followed by a kick to the neck she made Rousey fight Holly’s game plan, no one else’s. And now she’s the champion. A humble, polite, wonderful person champion. We need one of those. As of this writing, Rousey has said, she will fight Holly and if she loses she will retire. To me, that already doesn’t sound that positive. When I get on an airplane I don’t say, when it lands, I will be on vacation. But if it crashes, I will be dead. If I have a feeling like that, I take the bus.
Hide and seek.
Good lord Jon Jones needs to find himself a “NO” person. Way to many “YES” people in his life. I have a “NO” person in my life. It’s my girlfriend and when I have huge idea’s and big plans that are probably going to get me physically, emotionally or financially hurt ol’ gal pal stands right up and says, nope without a second through.
It’s not so much a no person that he, I, we need, it’s a common sense person. He needs that. Heaping piles of that. When this happens to me, my dreams are temporarily dashed but I am still happy and healthy at the end of the day and realize that no, I really shouldn’t have tried sleeping outside just to see how the homeless do it, no I should have eaten that hot sauce just because it says it’s the hottest one ever made and burns your insides.
If I personally were to check into rehab and then try to check out a day later those guys in light blue scrubs and hair cuts that say I try to get laid a lot would grab ahold of me and say no. However I am not Jon Jones. And when you are one of the best fighters in the history of Mixed Martial Arts, you can check out when you decide you’re ready to. You can order a big mac at burger king and they will make it. He can stand up at a funeral and say, I never liked the guy and I don’t know any of you people and they probably would as him if he’d like to give the eulogy.
Jon Jones did what we call in society the old hit and run and go F yourself, then he went and grabbed a sack full of cash like the Hamburgler ran into the New Mexico heat wearing nothing but a sweat suit hoping to get whatever goodies in his system, out of his system. It took a couple of days, but when he was peeing clean, he turned himself in like a responsible, law abiding after hiding from it for three days citizen.
Whenever I think about this, there are so, so, so many things that have never really been answered. He said, “I have some soul searching to do” on the all to reliable these days news outlet Twitter and people said, okay, good enough.
Here are the questions I have. Why was it a rented car, why were their drugs in it, why did you have a sack of money, was it an actual sack? Why not a brief case just to keep it professional? Why didn’t you have on a ski mask if you were going to do illegal stuff and people know full well, around the world who you are?
Sociopath from 2014 to 2015
This is the story that for whatever reason I was the most interested in. Probably because it involved a porn star named Christy Mac and such a heinous crime that every single one of my American I need to act like a hero buttons were pushed, because of that I became obsessed. I don’t mean obsessed like, still talking and thinking about it, but on my own I googled what was happening and if they caught War Machine yet about two or three times. Which is actually a lot for me.
But if you didn’t know, War Machine (actual name) walked in and his X-girlfriend’s home in 2014 and another guy was there. Not doing anything, but just there. (even if they were, still, no excuse) And so War Machine went and beat her and the guy half to death then ran out. Breaking her ribs and bones in her face and going on the run for days.
The psycho actually posted on Twitter about it trying to explain that he is not such a bad guy, that he’s the victim here. Fortunately they caught him and in 2015 he was put on trail, went to prison and has since tried to kill himself by my count once but I’m guessing by now twice. The guy is literally a psychopath and I don’t see him changing today, tomorrow or ever. Soon he will find religion and ask for parole and then get out and do something insane again as this is his whateverith offense.
Gästskribent: Dean Bergey
